so i'm a big believer that when it's your time, it's your time. note that no one really super close to me has been taken "early" so i can say this with some amount of what might be read as callousness. or more correctly, ignorance. but something happened this week that made my heart drop to the floor and give me a glimpse, however brief, of what it might be like to experience someone dear to me meeting their 'time to go'.
my little sister is a senior dynamic positioning officer on the Transocean Deepwater Horizon. sound familiar? yah, this is the oil rig that exploded into fireball before sinking into oblivion this week in the gulf of mexico.
thankfully, it was her week off and she wasn't scheduled to go back out there until friday, so she was safe. however, removed as she was from the actual event, she is not so removed from the drama that comes with knowing that 11 people she knows and loves are still missing. as you can imagine, spending 24 hours a day for 3 weeks on end, causes you to become quite close to those you share space with on your floating metal island. this is like her second family. my heart aches for her 'other family'.
my sister and i weren't all that close growing up. i would say our best relationship we've ever had is right now. typical of many sisters, apparently. it helps that i now have kids for her to spoil and dote on...and she does it well, even from a distance. we only get to see each other once a year (sometimes less). 'aunt kiki' is the best gift giver i've ever seen... i think it must be her love language. she agonizes over the perfect gift for each of my children (and even me and zach), and i am always in awe of the thought and time she's put into everything she gives.
i don't love her just for her gifts, but i know that's how she shows her love. i guess i show my love by pounding out a few lines of text on an obscure blog... so to that effect, here goes -
dearest katherine mary,
i love you. i am thankful for you. as a person. as a friend. as a sister. as an aunt to my children. you are amazing. wonderful. beautiful. thoughtful. sweet. unique. tough. adventurous. creative. so talented. and funny (yes, its 'williams funny', but it still counts).
and i will never forget the way you rocked the hell out of that swing set in chickaloon with your killer spin moves and caribbean queen playing in the background.
and though i have to plop my translucent post-baby chunky arse down in the beach chair next to your 6 pack abs and killer tan in cabo in june, i'm just happy the chair next to me won't be empty.
and don't worry about it. he'll come when he's supposed to. and he will be worth the wait. don't settle.
love you more than you know