Friday, April 16, 2010

if black is a style, then i am so stylish

i was in need of a new sweater. not so much because it's cold, but because i still tend to lean quite a bit to the left side of the self esteem scale since i'm still carrying some baby weight (thanks titus). so off to target i ran and picked out a bright pink button up to wear on easter sunday. to my surprise, i got so many compliments on my outfit...mostly the sweater. upon further review, i am pretty sure that this is due to the fact that this is the first item of color i've thrown on my body, other than black, since i got pregnant about a year ago. after this revelation, i decided to see just how deep this addiction runs. peering into my closet, i spy an entire row of black items - dresses, shirts, sweaters (all on matching hangers, natch). oh there's that rare slate colored cardi and that completely random pair of brown leggings thrown into the mix, but they hardly compete with my "ode to black" collection. yep, it's pretty bad.

as a fan of H&M on facebook i was privy to a recent status update that said something to the effect of "what outfit do you have planned for this weekend?" i just sat there reading and re-reading this question - trying to make sense of it. pre-kid liz, who used to plan her outfits weeks in advance and agonize over each detail every morning before i headed out the door would hardly recognize post-kid liz. what am i planning to wear this weekend?! um, whatever is clean and hides everything i'm embarrased about my body right now. and you better believe i'm figuring out what that is, exactly, about 10 minutes before we have to head out the door. and you can put money down that it will, indeed, be black.

when i turned 30 i started to question my style. i took out my nose ring and i put a full stop on the wearing of leggings. do 30 year olds wear that? hot model-esque ones do, but do i? CAN i? i've subsequently taken up the wearing of leggings again, but the nose ring is still noticeably absent. i've taken to wearing flats way more often than my high heels. all this really is inconsequential at this stage in my life, however. my daily attire consists of yoga pants and t-shirts bearing the telltale signs on the left shoulder that yes, i have an infant and he just ate.

i have aspirations of being stylish again. of making my hubs proud to be with me when we go out. of standing out because i am just too cute instead of trying to fade into the background. it's something i'm working towards to be sure.

i have so many creative friends, especially in the realm of style and clothing. they each are so fantastic in their own way and over the course of our friendships i've discovered i can pretty much define the style of each. now me, i'm not as easy to nail down. i feel that i don't have a style, and i really hate that. if pressed to define it, my current style is BLACK.

maybe one day i'll have style again... i know i have a closet of cute (albeit black) clothes begging to be worn. maybe this summer i'll incorporate more color into my wardrobe. maybe i'll just stop at the pink easter sweater and call it a season.


racheljenae said...

haha... this made me laugh cause I'm sure we can all relate! (Obviously other mothers more than I, but I still can)
Good thing is... black is always in and you always look sleek and New Yorkish :) I've always considered you quite the stylish woman. You look your age, but always spice things up and never overdo it.
Over the last few months I have taken a recap on why i wear what I being 28... and realizing that often i wear things out of what i think looks good, or borrowing from my 3-8 years younger roommates, instead of what I just want to wear and is my style. I love details, but actually I love simplicity more. I love one cute article that stands out amidst just having on a ton of really cool stuff. But I also have tended to be the one that says let me just blend in and not stand out as well.

Speaking of...just feel like sharing this, about 6 months ago i was at a worship event and mid-worship I felt like I was at this really beautiful deep place with the Lord and allll of a sudden I had a memory. A memory I've never thought of. It was a thought process that I know only the Lord could have showed me. I was about 14-15 and my best friend was beautiful, really cool and got lots of attention due to it... and I remember thinking, because of who she is and how she stands out she is responsible for everyone looking at her and how she refects God to them. People are watching and judge her more as well. And subconsciously I thought, I don't want that responsibility and from that point on can now look back and see how i dressed, acted and formed relationships acting that inner decision out.
In that worship service I felt like God showed me that cause I've been asking Him to shine through my life and influence others and I wonder how often He's wanted to, but because of my inner vow from years ago, His hands were tied and would never force Himself on me. So some vow breaking has taken place since.

Not saying it's anything like that with you... but you're pretty stinkin awesome Liz and you bring a ton to the table! I've always loved how different you are and how you haven't conformed to being like everyone else! So for everyone's sake at the table with you... don't hide in the background.

racheljenae said...

ok, i had no idea i had written that much.

LIZZY said...

what a great perspective, jenae! thank you so much for taking the time to pound that all out... i love that you did! i'm very much the same as you in that i like simplicity and would rather have just that one stand out thing.

i love you my friend!

racheljenae said...

Well glad you liked it... cause i'm laughing again seeing how long it is and it's your blog... not mine :) haha!

LIZZY said...

your comments (however long) are always welcomed.