Wednesday, July 23, 2008

rage against the world

so i haven't even had time yet to blog the uneventful yet somehow very tiring trip to tulsa last week, and yet here i am, again, alone in yet another hotel room in oklahoma city. week 3 of 7.

of course i can't sleep. of course there is absolutely nothing on tv. and God forbid that the room actually be a comfortable temperature. i am currently on a 30 min cycle of turning the thermostat up...and down...up...and down. i have settled the tv on a combo of Frasier and King of Queens, depending on which one is on another commercial break. of course the tv volume can't be set at a comfortable level either. there are two levels, so loud my neighbor can hear kevin james and his crazy antics, or super soft, so soft i am kicking myself for not having yet perfected the art of lip reading. apparently my neighbor has the same tv in his room. he is currently watching some war movie on HBO (just in case you were wondering). I already checked it out, it's not worth watching.

i shouldn't be frustrated that i am here. i knew it was coming. but yesterday there came a glimmer of hope that i wouldn't have to come. i fell asleep soooo happy that i would be able to tuck my baby in tonight and not have to spend my entire wednesday at the registration table outside some hotel conference room staring at yet another 'executive deli' lunch set-up. but i awoke to an email telling me otherwise and being as i am already not so much of a morning person, this new and exciting information did not bode well for my mood the rest of the day.

big deal, right? i know...just deal with it. and i did. i did not take it out on zach, i did not take it out on the jackass drivers on the road on the way to work, i just dealt. i hoped my frustration could be swollowed down with the emotional crutch that is the occassional starbucks coffee (double tall decaf soy toffee nut). it took the edge off, and i was left with a numbness and a sense of being cheated somehow. like i'd been given a gift, only to have it snatched out of my hand just as i was daydreaming about how much i would use this gift and all the things i appreciate about said gift. gone.

okay, so it's not like being told i have cancer. i just need to vent and having done so, i feel better. guess i should go to sleep. king of queens is over now anyway, and i refuse to watch the local news, leno, or reno 911. great choices, OKC, really, you've outdone yourself.

1 comment:

Missie Rose said...

why do people always feel bad for venting or bitching on their blogs?!?

everybody gets pissed at petty stuff, and we all need somewhere to purge it. purge away, and for my sake, you need not apologize or defend yourself because of it.