Tuesday, October 7, 2008

what happens in vegas...probably doesn't happen at Excalibur

last week i was asked (told) to work the booth at one of our events in vegas. i was happy to cover for my co-worker who will be on her honeymoon that week, and i mean, come on, it IS vegas, so i can't really complain.

now before you get all excited to post a comment about how much fun i will have, let me help you better understand the nature of this event. first of all, it is not some fun kind of show - like a 'drinks on us!' bartender symposium or a 'sex in the city trunk show' - but rather, wait for it... The Society of Exploratory Geophysicists Conference.

hmmm... 4 days of exploratory geophysicists sporting their registration badges dangling haphazardly around their necks, carrying their styrofoam cups of sub par conference coffee in one hand, and the free neon tote bags with the logo of a neighboring booth emblazoned on the front stuffed full of free crap in the other, stopping by our booth to score our version of more and different giveaway crap to shove into their tote (man purse) and to ask as they push their glasses back up their noses with the back of their stale coffee holding hand - so what do you guys do?

they'd better have free drinks of all sorts back in the vendor tent.

the actual conference is at the mandalay bay hotel, which is really nice. unfortunately, my company wasn't able to get a block of rooms at the mandalay bay, nor the neighboring luxor (and i am making a big assumption that they did TRY to get rooms at these better hotels). so we got the excalibur. it can't be that bad, right? i mean it IS on the strip so it has to have some redeeming qualities. after sending in my info for the rooming list, i scrambled to look up the place i will spend 4 lovely november evenings all by myself. my fears were confirmed when the page loaded and i see the excalibur tagline - Looking for a Las Vegas hotel that’s fun, not fancy? Then you belong in a Castle – Excalibur, where you rule. (gah!!!)

fun, not fancy? really? REALLY?!

i am not being entirely fair...excalibur is not without merit; they boast some of the finest attractions on the strip to include (in no particular order):

louie anderson's side splitting comedy routine. wait, who?

the spongebob squarepants 4D ride. i only know one adult that would be interested in this ride. that's right, john savill, i mean you.

thunder from down under. don't worry, i have my very own thunder at home and won't need to supplement while i am away. plus i bet they don't even talk, and the accent is the best part.

the midway. like the fair and chuck e. cheese's all rolled into one, only a bit cleaner and fewer rugrats. maybe i can win myself a $.25 stuffed toy if i keep playing that roller ball game for a few hours. score!!!

it can't be more than a day's walk or so to a cooler hotel on the strip, like bellagio or ceasar's palace. and i'm sure after standing on my feet from 8a-4p daily for 4 days in the same 8'x8' space, i will be more than willing to hoof it up the strip to see some cool water shows and pretend i am brad pitt and i just knocked off the bellagio for millions. maybe i'll even throw out a witty one liner, see if i can get a chuckle or two.


Lolly said...

This is very funny!! You should write a column. You are a good writer.

bullets said...

ok louis anderson is a well known famous comic who has his moments in time of greatness

Lolly said...

I think Louis Anderson used to be just a cheesy cartoon then he turned into a cheesy real person.