Friday, May 2, 2008

don't worry about it, i got it

As much as I am a very staunch supporter of killing off the existence of the "mass email fwd", there does occassionally come across my inbox a fwd that I actually do enjoy. This happens to be just such an email (thanks mom).

(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often mis-understood bymen. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you a bout nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question. Just say you're welcome. I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever".

(8)Whatever:Is a woman's way of saying**** YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

*Disclaimer - No I am not women's lib, women's power, or scheduling a bra burning session in the near future. (No, you are not invited should I ever actually schedule one) No I am not against men as husbands, brothers, dads, etc. Yes, sometimes Nothing really does mean nothing. Sometimes. And yes, I love my husband. More than he knows.

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